Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Preparing Your House For a Zombie Invasion

After talking to several contractors who specialize in preparing houses for the 2012 zombie invasion I have developed a way to turn your house into a zombie invasion headquarters. Thats right you lazy people who think its a good idea to put the fridge, TV and computer in the bathroom so you never have to move, can now in the event of a zombie invasion, never have to leave the house.

To begin preparing your house for a zombie invasion you must first make sure all of your door and windows are bullet proof. Why bullet proof you ask? Because in a recent survey 9 out of 10 zombies admitting to ignoring houses with bullet proof doors and/or windows because it hurts to bash them down.

After bullet proofing your doors and windows it is time to move on to the power system. In the event of a zombie invasion the power will eventually go out. Whether it is your next door neighbor trying to run over zombies in his car and taking out the power lines in the process, or the power grid just shutting down, the power will go out. To prepare for this use batteries and solar panels to keep the power to your house flowing. Generators are also an option, but they tend to make a lot of noise, and you don't want to attract zombies before it's zombie mercin time. Plus if we survive the zombie invasion those solar panel will help to prevent global warming, and later when global warming is disproved global cooling.

After doing this it is time to stock up on supplies, because this is pre invasion you can't stock up on high powered guns, and drugs with being arrested. Instead stock up on things such as bullets, and guns you can legally own. Buy a lot of alcohol so if it comes down to it you can kill your brain before the zombies eat it, and buy that crappy food made to last a century. The food might taste bad, but it will keep you from starving.

After doing this sit down, have a beer and relax, because come the Zombie Invasion you will never have to move your lazy butt.


  1. okay my name is violet duncan i believe zombies will walk the earth you can reach me at 7608519369 give me a calll or txt me thank you

  2. i am really scared im not prepared

  3. wat to do


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