Monday, September 7, 2009

The Beginning

For the past week I have been traveling around Europe searching for the ground zero of the zombie invasion. After the first few days I was shooting nothing but blanks. I had visited Berlin, Paris, London, even that one town named after Brett Farve and none of them showed signs of zombies. Finally I decided to try the one place most zombie experts would never think of, Amsterdam!

At first glance most would figure Amsterdam to be nothing more then your average city. But it is more then just your average city, it is a city containing millions of people on drugs. A zombie could walk the streets without fear of being spotted by zombie hunters (in case you didn't know zombies look like humans on lots and lots of drugs). This means that zombie plague could spread for months without local authorities noticing the spread and quarantining the area.

Upon arriving at Amsterdam I went to the local authorities and warned them that Amerster dam might be ground zero of a zombie invasion. I then spent the next few hours trying to prove to local authorities I wasn't on illegal drugs (who knew those existed in Amsterdam). After going through that ordeal I decided not to warn any more authorities, local or federal. I knew that my only chance was to find a local group of zombie hunters and let them know that Amsterdam might be ground zero.

After days of searching I finally found the local zombie hunters. It turns out that a week before I arrived some of them had been arrested for shooting ravers with stun guns (zombies will not react to a stun gun, while people on drugs or off will). These zombie hunters were still in jail, so I would need to find a way to contact them in order to locate their headquarters.

The local authorities still thought I was a bit crazy, and I doubted they would let me visit the jail unless I got them to arrest me. In order to do this I went to the local drug dealers and bought some marijuana. After purchasing the marijuana I went outside and started smoking it. I figured within minutes I would be arrested, yet five hours later I was still free.

As you can guess after figuring out that smoking marijuana outside is either legal or ignored by authorities the rest of my trip went to hell. I gave up searching for zombies, and began looking for fun things to do. Come 2012 I think I will be making another trip to Amsterdam........................... to search for zombies of course.

Until next time, stay safe and remember if you want to go to Amsterdam do it before the zombie invasion begins.

1 comment:

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