Saturday, August 22, 2009

Surviving the Zombie Invasion of 2012

December 21st 2012, the Mayans claim it is a date of great change, some say it is when the poles will reverse, while others claim on this date World War 3 will begin. The truth is that on December 21st when Earth aligns with the center of the galaxy the undead will walk among us. Yes that's right zombies will rise from the grave.

For the better part of a decade I have been working with a small group of Free Masons to prevent the zombie invasion, but their efforts are failing. The only thing left to do is prepare.

When the zombies invade many people will panic, in this chaos humans will begin randomly committing acts of chaos. Our great cities will become war zones, our weapons will be used upon each other, and for some reason people will steal big screen TVs, even though the power and cable is NEVER coming back. This is NOT the answer!

When the zombie invasion begins, the number one priority should be to find a headquarters. Just like Batman, Superman, Dr. Doom and Brett Farve you to will need a headquarters. The first rule of picking a headquarters is to find a place with all the essential supplies, for instance a shopping mall may look like the perfect place to hide out, but before heading there make sure you stock up on supplies which the mall might be lacking. Ask yourself, is there a liquor store near my hideout? Do I have easy access to guns? Is it a zombie free zone?

Even if your headquarters has a liquor store, guns, and is zombie free, it could still be better. The evidence room in a police station is the perfect place to go to better your headquarters. Guns, ammunition, money and drugs they have it all, and in the event of a zombie invasion chances there will be very few officers guarding the police station. Still you will need to distract the officers there long enough to grab the evidence and run. To do this run into the police station screaming about the local donut shop being attacked. Upon hearing this the officers will be driven into a fury, and rush to aid/eat the helpless donuts. When this happens simply walk over to the evidence locker and take everything you need to survive the first few weeks of the zombie invasion. After doing this simply head over to your headquarters and wait, if a car dealership is on the way feel free to upgrade your vehicle.

After the initial surge of zombies has come to and end it will be possible to leave your headquaters and start mercing zombies. Kicking zombie ass will be covered in the next post, until then stay safe, and prepare.


  1. Hah Hah first of all nice post. every good cop loves a donut joke...including me. anyway here is where your plan is flawed. The evidence room is not ever left unlocked. Only a few people, and sometimes not even police, have access and in the event of a zombie outbreak the key holders probably won't be there. also in the time of crisis everyone will be running to the police station and so will the zombies. stock up now and leave the police station to the unprepared.

  2. Sweet post mate update all of them again!
    Anyways I will join your fight against the zombies, when this happens return to this blog and we can meet up at a fixed Headquarters lol.

  3. GREAT IDEA! Come 2012 we will need to find a central location so that when communications go down we can all meet up.

  4. with regards to a vehicle it would most likely be a good idea to take something of the form of a hybrid, for if the electricity goes down, you can use the fuel, but if the fuel runs out then you can use the electricity. if they both run out it may be a good idea to find alternate fuel sources, if none of these will work, however, you are pretty damn screwed travel wise. bear all this in mind zombie haters.

  5. Cool do you guys need someone that can heal pretty good i may be really young but my intelect of healing is really good

  6. Sorry to do this again but you need alot of things to be prepaired for alot so you need tons of medicineand trakers also it would be good to stock up on handgun ammo because they are really easy and modern plz repli to my comment for i do like to talk about this stuff it make me fell like im not alone also i am the person that asked if you need a healer

  7. im gonna stock up on canned food, weed, guns, and ammo.

  8. Is there seriously going to be zombies???:(

  9. Idiots, there is no zombie invasion. LOSEERRSS. Shut up and get a life

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