Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Top 5 Zombie Mercin Weapons

There is almost nothing the average person can do to prevent a zombie invasion.  All that is left to do is to prepare for it, and pray it doesn't come.  In earlier articles I mentioned how to pick and prepare your headquarters, so lets talk weapons.  After all sooner or later you will need to or want to kill those zombies.

The most important weapon one could wield against a zombie is a flame thrower.  If video games and movies/television have taught use anything it is that zombies HATE fire.  In modern day society there are plenty of flammable liquids to use in a flamer thrower, and some of the best flame throwers can spit fire over 10 feet.  Since it takes zombies about 9.666 feet to die by fire 10 feet is a good range, just in case one of those zombies is an overachiever.  Flame throwers are best used in the event of a zombie horde.  Just remember to be careful, because if used in the wrong environment a flame thrower could cause death to you or your companions.  

The second most important weapon in a zombie is the shotgun.  At close range these guns are extremely effective, and can take down almost anything in one shot.  Head shots even have the potential to take down two or more zombies.  At long ranges a shotgun can damage multiple targets, and even stun.  Shotguns also have the potential to be used as a melee weapon should you run out of bullets.  Just remember to keep a close eye on friendlies, because the large blast radius of a shotgun can hurt them.

After the shotgun a sniper rifle is the next best weapon to wield.  Sniper rifles have an extremely long range and can take down most targets in one shot if you hit the torso, or head.  Even if you fail to get the one shot kill arms and legs can easily be taken off which will slow a zombie or even prevent it from damaging you.  If used with a silencer one can pick off zombie without being spotted.  Just remember sniper rifles are long range weapons and are no good for hordes, so be sure to keep a close range weapon near by.

 The 4th best weapon to wield in a zombie invasion is the malakoff cocktail.  These babies are great!  They can be thrown from an elevated position, and if thrown into the right spot can cause explosions of epic proportions.  Malakoff cocktails are fairly simply to make, and as stated above there are plenty of flammable liquids which can be used.  Just be sure to throw your special cocktail before it goes off, because in your headquaters one of these babies could do some serious damage.  Also if you are using glass bottles which contained alcohol, make sure that there is no alcohol left.  Repeat after me alcohol is for drinking not for blowing stuff up.  Unless by blowing something up you could get more alcohol, and even then alcohol is used as a last resort. 

During a zombie invasion it can be almost impossible to get your hands on ammo, and/or the supplies which the other top weapons require, so for our 5th slot lets talk melee weapons.  Sure they need to be sharpened every now and again, but in a pinch they can be irreplaceable.  So what is the top melee weapon you ask?  It is a machete, these things were pretty much designed to chop off heads.  A machete can be used to accurately chop off zombies heads, or swung widely to clear out advancing zombie hordes.  The big problem with the machete is that usually when you can use it you're already in trouble, and these things are pretty labor intensive.  But during a strategical pull back (aka when you're running like hell and need to kill all the zombies in your path) they can be useful.   

Alright so there you have it the five weapons I think are most important in the event of a zombie invasion.  If you guys have any suggestions weapon wise please feel free to let me know?



  1. machine guns should be included, i know they waste alot of ammo but somtimes a spraying weapon is key

  2. I figured the flame thrower was good enough as far as spraying goes.

  3. he has a point anonymous...

  4. dude holy shit are you a dumb fuck or wat????. Zombie are controlled by the solanum virus ( a tumor in the brain) the only way to kill a zombie is to completely destroy the brain. using a flamethrower will just mean they now can have a cooked meal u dumb shit. u r gonna get people killed when the shit hits the fan. thanks too you the few people that were unfortunate enough to read this article are now going to die fuck head.....

  5. What about lazers

  6. Gotta say every flame based weapon you put up there is an awful idea, if you play with fire you are going to get burnt. The sniper rifel is a good one, if you have the high ground, but silencers don't exist, so the second bit goes right out the window.The machete is a good call, but you really want something more like a spike, one stab into the head, game over.

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